What used to be a fun and telling game with all kinds of amusing dirty content to play with friends, has been given an entirely new perspective for me.
So I thought I might mix it up and share said new perspectives on this twisted fun game with like minded Mama’s 😉
Never Had I Ever….
- Felt two sets of hiccups at the same time and what’s worse, they were so hard that it pushed on my bladder all the more…. Right, because we need any extra help in this department while carrying that wide load!
- Been bruised from the inside out – Twin A was hell bent on kickboxing his way to gain more real estate
- Been told a maternity store did not carry my bra size!! No words for this one…..
- Heard a queefing sound from a breast before – compliments to the breast pump and air getting in. So Hot!
- Cried over spilled milk! Literally! That Sh*t is GOLD! – especially when you are only getting 2oz from each breast at a time.
- Answered a door or hosted guests with a life sucking machine attached to my girls. It somehow always appears as something between a character from Total Recall and a 95 year old nursing woman!! Although the shock value was often worth it!
- Speaking of shock value… Never have I ever bared my girls this much!! (ok ok, not for life preserving reasons anyways)
- Competed in any kind of Sumo wrestling before, but changing toddler diapers sure can feel like it!
- Functioned on 20 min of sleep and yet somehow everyone was kept alive and the house didn’t burn down! Life goals!
- Considered owning …sigh…wait for it… a MINIVAN! Sigh again! There was no way around this with our needing two seats for the car seats, space for our 14 year old, his hockey bag, the stroller and we often have a friend of the teenagers with us….sooooo space for two hockey bags, two playpens, etc. etc. you get the picture!
Yup, I ended up with a sexy (insert eye roll) Caravan. Hockey Mom Van in full effect! It really is so much harder to get a cat call driving one of these beauties! lol
- Mastered a double breast feed or 2-bottle hold in one hand! I have a new found appreciation and sympathy for milk cows!
- Thought I would ever go through 20 diapers a day!
- Been scared of travelling with family before. And is it really considered a vacation then? Come on!
The list could go on and on, but Mama’s let me say this, never had I ever thought that I would be this insanely busy, this exhausted, a mom-bun-wearing, nor a minivan-hockey-mom chaperone.
Having said that, never would I ever have it any other way 😉